Bathtime & Rubber Duckies
by Quirky Circuit
Summary: This is an AU event to Mace Windu's encounter of Palpatine in Revenge Of The Sith. It was something that just came to me. It's a Comedy, and I'm sure you'll be laughing your head off. Enjoy.


_Bathtime And Rubber Duckies_

Mace Windu and three other Jedi, who's name were not important so won't be stated, crashed into Palpatine's private office. It was then that Mace jerked out his Lightsaber, igniting the very special purple blade.

The four quickly surrounded the quite small office, which puzzled all of them. This _was_ the Supreme Chancellor. Who had managed to stay in office _way_ after his term was up. Plus he evaded the Jedi the entire time. The poor jackasses not even knowing Palpatine was Darth Sidious... yeah, it doesn't really make sense.

"By order of the-" Windu stopped, realizing that something else _entirely_ was seated in Palpatine's chair.

In the chair was a small _doll_, yet it spoke very clearly. Considering this was a galaxy far, far away, stranger things have happened.

"Mace Windu, I want to play a _game_," the doll stated. The doll being someone named Jigsaw. Which just so happened to be sitting in the Chancellor's _special_ chair. It puzzled the Jedi greatly. It had taken them an entire hour to get through security, the guards were so stupid, didn't know a Lightsaber was only plastic. It couldn't do any harm...

Jigsaw continued speaking in stupid riddles. Mace paying him no mind, not even knowing if it was a man really...

Suddenly they heard a faint singing voice coming from the back room. The shocker was the fact this place even _had_ a back room. But they ignored that logic because they wanted to find the door.

The secret door lay behind a statue in a clearly disturbing position, one which won't be stated here. Go check those rusty machines of yours. You'll find it.

The four proceeded inside. The three other no-name Jedi silently were jealous of Mace's purple Lightsaber. It was bestowed upon him by the Flannel God Of Creation. Something which Mace seemed to regard highly.

The others felt inferior because of their Lightsabers. Even the Amazing Obi-Wan Kenobi had a special Lightsaber, one which defied all logic. It could cut someone and they would bleed. You see, Lightsabers cauterize wounds; that means they won't spill blood for you stupid people. And yet Obi-Wan Kenobi could make people gush blood. It was a _real_ gore-fest when he came to a bar.

Mace smiled proudly. He knew he was bad, having a purple Lightsaber. Of course it didn't do much for the ladies with someone carrying around a plastic toy that glowed with a _purple_ light, usually defined as _girly_. But he was Mace Windu, he could make anything cool. Even a purse. 

Upon entering the private, hidden room, it was revealed to be a bathroom. Or 'fresher for you picky people. The sight which lay in-front of them caused two of the no-name Jedi to die instantly. And Mace's eyes began bleeding. Which made a mess over Palpatine's new rug. It really _pissed_ him off.

You see, Palpatine was in the middle of said _bath_. That is what a bathroom's for. Palpatine spun around within the pink bubble bath waters, glaring at the Jedi.

"How dare you interrupt _my_ bathtime!" Palpatine hissed.

Mace jerked out his Laser sword, igniting the purple blade he stood in an awesome pose. To him anyway.

"By order of the bad mother-"

"Shut your mouth!" Palpatine cut off.

"You are under arrest," Mace finished.

"It's indecent exposure then," Palpatine declared, standing from the warm water of his bath.

The last no-name Jedi died at the sight of Palpatine. It had scarred him for the rest of his life anyway. Never being able to live down that _horrible_ mental image. You're thinking it right now, aren't you?

"You're coming with me," Mace said firmly. 

"I am the _sexiest_ man alive, you can't touch me," Palpatine stated.

"Not yet," Mace countered. The voting for said 'sexiest man' not beginning for another month. 

"Then you will witness the power of this _fully_ armed and operational _Rubber Ducky_," Palpatine shouted. 

From inside the yellow Ducky Palpatine carefully removed his Lightsaber.

No, not _that_ Lightsaber... Get your mind out of the gutter.

The Sith ignited his red blade, throwing himself at Mace. The two began to fight within the small bathroom. Blah, blah, blah. They did alot of fighting. Threw some crap, oh, and Mace and Palpatine clashed one another's blades, breaking the large mirror within the bathroom. Some curse words were yelled, and Palpatine was tossed to the ground.

Upon this action young and dumbfounded Anakin Skywalker, entered the bathroom. How he knew where they were, and that there even _was_ a bathroom;You don't wanna know.

He was clearly in disgust at the fact Mace was about to kill Palpatine, with his Lightsaber inches from the Chancellor's face. He was even more freaked at the fact Palpatine was completely nude...

"Anakin! Help me!" Palpatine cried. "He's invaded _my_ personal space!"

"Don't listen to him Anakin!" Mace replied, shouting as well.

"Why are the both of you yelling?" Anakin asked curiously. 

Palpatine proceeded to stand and unleash a barrage of Force Lightning, but Mace's Lightsaber managed to deflect it back at the Sith Lord. He was able to hold it off for some time. Until Palpatine slipped and fell into the tub of water. It splashed everywhere as the Force Lightning took it's toll.

The Chancellor emerged from the water with skin wrinkled and pale beyond repair. He had also lost his contacts, revealing his weird yellow eyes.

"You've ruined my fair complexion," Palpatine said in anger.

With Mace about to strike down Palpatine, Anakin knew very well what he was suppose to do: kill Mace, or at least cut off half of his arm allowing Palpatine to finish him off so that Anakin wouldn't get the full blame. Though Anakin paused, only to add a dramatic effect.

He swiped his Lightsaber into the air, allowing Palpatine to jump to the side and send a surge of Lightning through Mace's body. Although an awesome Jedi, he would have a completely _stupid_ death. He fell back into the water and was electrocuted. He died.

Anakin fell to bent knee, Palpatine approached him, still fully nude. Anakin winced, this was awkward.

"I really don't have time to explain all of this," Palpatine started. "But from now on I wanna call you _Darth Vader_."

"I pledge myself to you _and_ your rubber ducky," Vader replied, lifting his head.

"Rise," Palpatine ordered.

"I all ready am my lord," Anakin stated, clearly confusing Palpatine.

The Dark Lord left the bathroom with Anakin at his side. Using the Force Palpatine pulled a bathrobe his way, tightening it around his body before reaching the window. He lifted the hood above his head and spoke:

"Every single Jedi is now an enemy of the Republic," the Sith Lord declared. "Clearly they were trying to take _advantage_ of me."

"What of the Jedi spread across the Galaxy?"

"I will execute Order sixty-nine..." Palpatine stopped himself. "I mean Order _sixty-six_."


End file.
